30 Day Film Challenge Week 2

Day 8 - The Film You Can Quote Best
TROLL 2.

My favorite line of dialogue from any movie ever is "Must be weird not having anyone come on you." from Showgirls. It's not only the words, it's the way the character says them because it's an extremely sleazy man trying sincerely to display affection. And I don't ever quote movies in conversation, but if I thought people would get it, I would consistently use "everybody got AIDS and shit" as a way to describe people having sex. But I can't make Showgirls the answer to everything, and your Grandpa Seth is telling you that Troll 2 is equally deserving. Here are just a few excellent lines of dialogue:

Joshua: We NEED Grandpa Seth here!
Holly: But how do we get him to come? By having a seance maybe?
Joshua: You're a genius big sister!

Diana: Joshua, start singing. Come on, sing that song I like so much.
Joshua: I don't feel like singing, Mom!
Diana: Just sing.
Joshua: [singing] Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream...
Diana, Joshua: [both singing] Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily. Life is but a dream...
[I love that she can't remember the name of the song. She only knows it as "that song" she likes so much.]

OMG, you have to click this.

Michael: Do you see this writing? Do you know what it means? Hospitality. And you can't piss on hospitality! I won't allow it!

And this one's my favorite:
Elliott: I'm the victim of a nocturnal rapture. I have to release my lowest instincts with a woman.
Holly: [punches Elliott in the groin] Release your instincts in the bathroom.
Elliott: Are you nuts? You tryin' to turn me into a homo?
Holly: Wouldn't be too hard. If my father discovers you here, he'd cut off your little nuts and eat them. He can't stand you.


Day 9 - A Film With Your Favorite Actor
BAD VAMPIRE: PORT OF KISS NEW ORLEANS.

Choosing a favorite OF ALL TIME actor or actress is too hard, but my favorite actor consistently working today is Nicolas Cage. And one of my dreams is to program a double feature with his two finest performances, Vampire's Kiss and Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans.


Day 10 - A Film With Your Favorite Actress
FLESH+BLOOD.

Also still working (though not very much) is Jennifer Jason Leigh. Flesh+Blood isn't a type of movie I normally even like, but it's so squalid and vicious, I just love it. And JJL, who is amazing in every movie, is extra fucking amazing in it, and she completely blew me away. If I were to program this in a double feature that showcased her most underrated performances, I'd put it with Hudsucker Proxy.


Day 11 - A Film By Your Favorite Director
I don't have a single favorite director, so I'm just gonna completely indulge myself here and list my three favorite films from 12 of my favorite directors. The criteria for who makes the list is they need to have made at least one perfect film, and I need to have seen at least 5 of their films (or all of them if they've made less than 5).

Alexandre Aja
1. Piranha
2. The Hills Have Eyes
3. High Tension

David Cronenberg
1. Videodrome
2. The Brood
3. Scanners

David Lynch
1. Blue Velvet
2. Lost Highway
3. Eraserhead

Jack Hill
1. Switchblade Sisters
2. Coffy
3. Spider Baby

Joel Coen/Coen Brothers
1. A Serious Man
2. Fargo
3. The Hudsucker Proxy

John Waters
1. Pink Flamingos
2. Female Trouble
3. Desperate Living

Lloyd Kaufman
1. Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead
2. The Toxic Avenger
3. Class of Nuke 'Em High

Lucio Fulci
1. City of the Living Dead
2. Zombie
3. New York Ripper

Paul Verhoeven
1. Showgirls
2. RoboCop
3. Flesh+Blood

Stuart Gordon
1. Re-Animator
2. Fortress
3. From Beyond

Tobe Hooper
1. Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Part 2
2. Poltergeist
3. Lifeforce

Todd Solondz
1. Happiness
2. Welcome to the Dollhouse
3. Fear, Anxiety and Depression


Day 12 - A Film By Your Least Favorite Director
YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN.

There aren't a lot of directors I've completely dismissed, but when I do, it's usually because I find their films either boring (Antonioni) or somehow irritating (Fellini). I don't generally go through the entire filmography of these directors I dislike, but sometimes I'll see 3 or 4 just to make a fair judgment. And often, they'll have 1 film that I slightly like, or at least find watchable. Antonioni's Blow Up isn't that bad. Fellini's La Strada is pretty good. I will occasionally write off a director after watching just one film, and the only reason I'll do this is if their films are too fucking long. I hate Bela Tarr's Werckmeister Harmonies, and there's no fucking way I'm going to waste 7 and a half hours watching Satantango to find out what his other work is like. And I didn't even hate Lawrence of Arabia, but I'm very confident I never need to see another David Lean film ever again.

Mel Brooks is a director I've given 6 chances to throughout my whole life, from seeing Spaceballs when I was 7 or 8, to watching Blazing Saddles just a few years ago because I happened to have it on Betamax. And my opinion has remained exactly the same: I don't fucking get it. His films are not funny. I even like a lot of movies with similarly goofy and stupid senses of humor (80s sex comedies, specifically), but the way Brooks puts it all together just doesn't work. So he's my least favorite director primarily because I've hated his films the longest, and I've seen the most of his work. And also because he has an extended cameo in a horribly unfunny scene in The Muppet Movie, which is otherwise a great film.

But even Brooks has that one film that is not 100% repulsive, and that's Young Frankenstein. There may not be a single laugh in Young Frankenstein, but somehow it's watchable, and there's a scene with Gene Wilder and Peter Boyle (as Frankenstein's monster) performing "Puttin' On The Ritz" that is actually kinda great. So I'll give him some credit for that.


Day 13 - A Guilty Pleasure
No.


Day 14 - The Film That No One Expected You To Like
I've been trying to think of the slowest movie I like. I know there's a bunch of extremely slowly-paced films that I totally love (ok, maybe not a bunch), but nothing is coming to mind right now. It doesn't matter, though, because people expect me to like everything. People used to recommend any movie to me that they didn't like. Like, "This movie was terrible, you'll love it." I think I've established my tastes enough now that this doesn't happen anymore. But what does still happen a bit is that people will ask me about any movie that's poorly reviewed, and compare it to Showgirls. That's not how it works! Not every critically panned flop is secretly amazing. Bad movies exist. More importantly, though, uninteresting movies exist. The fact is I probably would like the majority of movies that get terrible reviews, but I'm not fucking interested in every one of them because I'd rather watch something I think I might love.

This is all irrelevant. The point is movies are great and everyone knows I like everything. I think maybe someone could be surprised by how much I like something? Like Judy Garland or Gene Kelly movies? I fucking love Judy Garland.

Oh shit, I got one. STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE is a film no one expects anyone to like, AND it's slow. But I think it's fucking great. Not only that, I think it's better than The Wrath of Khan. So yeah, the first Star Trek movie.