It's been starting to feel like it's way too late to bother with this, but I've finally put together all my lists for the best films I saw in 2006 that did not come out in 2006. To start it off, here are the best short films I saw.
The Top 16 Short Films I Watched In 2006
1. Bimbo's Initiation (1931, Dave Fleischer)
2. Snow-White (1933, Dave Fleischer)
3. Swing You Sinners (1930, Dave Fleischer)
4. Mysterious Mose (1930, Dave Fleischer)
5. The Short and Curlies (1987, Mike Leigh)
6. The Cameraman's Revenge (1912, Wladyslaw Starewicz)
7. The Mascot (1934, Wladyslaw Starewicz)
8. Cipher in the Snow (1973, Keith J. Atkinson)
9. Darkness/Light/Darkness (1989, Jan Svankmajer)
10. The Junky's Christmas (1993, Nick Donkin)
11. The Parlor (2001, Geoffrey Haley)
12. From the Drain (1967, David Cronenberg)
13. Don't Smoke That Cigarette (2000, Kenneth Anger)
14. Thanksgiving Prayer (1991, Gus Van Sant)
15. Making Stars (1935, Dave Fleischer)
16. No One Will Play With Me (1976, Werner Herzog)
Quick info: Bimbo's Initiation is my second favorite short film of all time, after He Was Once. The Fleischer brothers created Betty Boop and Popeye, and I watched a ton of their shit this year, and pretty much all of it was amazing. Bimbo's Initiation, Snow-White, Swing You Sinners, and Mysterious Mose were my favorites, but yeah, there's lots more that are also great. Making Stars has some really adorable racism in it, but the rest of it is actually kinda boring. The Short and Curlies stars David Thewlis and Alison Steadman, and is some of Mike Leigh's most perfect awkwardness. Ladislaw Starewicz did a lot of stop-motion animation, usually with insects or tiny animals, and I watched a bunch of his stuff, and The Cameraman's Revenge and The Mascot were the best. Cipher in the Snow is a Mormon movie about a kid who died from being ignored. Darkness/Light/Darkness is quintessential Svankmajer. The Junky's Christmas and Thanksgiving Prayer both feature William Burroughs. The Parlor is about a bunch of people sitting in a room having a conversation, and there's a twist at the end that is either retarded or amazing I'm not really sure which, but don't search for it on youtube because some genius gives away the twist in the description. From the Drain is the second ever film Cronenberg made, and it's about two people having a conversation in a bathtub. Don't Smoke That Cigarette is a compilation of old cigarette commercials, some of which are incredible, that Kenneth Anger may or may not have actually compiled himself. No One Will Play With Me is about a lonely little kid or something, I don't remember, I only remember that I was really happy to see it because I had recently watched like 10 Herzog movies in a row that were all terrible, so I was relieved this was really good.
The Top 5 Old Movies (pre-1960) I Watched In 2006
1. The Unholy Three (1925, Tod Browning)
2. The Story of the Fox (1930, Wladyslaw & Irene Starewicz)
3. King Kong (1933, Merian C. Cooper & Ernest Schoedsack)
4. Detour (1945, Edgar G. Ulmer)
5. The Lineup (1958, Don Siegel)
Quick info: The Unholy Three is by Tod Browning, who made Freaks, and stars the main dwarf from Freaks, as well as Lon Chaney, and they dress up as a baby and an old lady, respectively, in order to rob people. The Story of the Fox is Starewicz's only feature, or one of two features or something, and it's cute and good. King Kong was a lot more violent than I ever would've expected. Detour and The Lineup are film-noir.
The Top 8 TV Movies I Watched In 2006
1. Riding the Bus with My Sister (2005, Anjelica Huston)
2. The Wave (1981, Alexander Grasshoff)
3. Sarah T. - Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic (1975, Richard Donner)
4. Born Innocent (1974, Donald Wrye)
5. Sweet Hostage (1975, Lee Philips)
6. Diary of a Teenage Hitchhiker (1979, Ted Hope)
7. The Best Little Girl in the World (1981, Sam O'Steen)
8. Bad Ronald (1974, Buzz Kulik)
Some quick information about these: Riding the Bus with My Sister features Rosie O'Donnell in a tour-de-force performance as a retard. The Wave is about a high school teacher who tries to teach kids about how it was possible for Hitler to convince a bunch of Germans it was ok to kill Jews by forming a club called The Wave with their own salute and symbol, and the kids get really fucking into it, and the teacher lets things go too far, and then at the end the teacher lets them all know they've turned into Nazis, and then all the kids are sad and horrified and it's super depressing, and it only aired once then was banned, and it's based on a true story. Sarah T. - Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic, Born Innocent, and Sweet Hostage all star Linda Blair, who in the 70s and 80s, was the best actress who ever lived. Sarah T. made me cry, which was a pretty big deal, because it was the first movie to have done so in like 12 years. Diary of a Teenage Hitchhiker has a really amazing rapist character who didn't get nearly enough screen time. The Best Little Girl in the World stars Jennifer Jason Leigh and it's about anorexia, and there's a Strangers With Candy episode based on it. Bad Ronald is about a nerdy kid whose mother locks him away in a hidden room after he accidentally kills a girl, then the mom dies, and then a new family moves in and Ronald spies on them.
The Top 9 Xmas Movies I Watched In 2006
1. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984, Charles E. Sellier, Jr.)
2. Rape Squad (1974, Bob Kelljan)
3. Black Christmas (1974, Bob Clark)
4. The Junky's Christmas (1993, Nick Donkin)
5. Metropolitan (1990, Whit Stillman)
6. Jingle All the Way (1996, Brian Levant)
7. The Ice Harvest (2005, Harold Ramis)
8. Jack Frost (1996, Michael Cooney)
9. Santa with Muscles (1996, John Murlowski)
Quick info: Silent Night, Deadly Night is not just the best Xmas movie I saw last year, but the greatest Xmas movie OF ALL TIME. Metropolitan was more of a winter movie than strictly Xmas, and it's about intellectuals having conversations, but somehow it's really good instead of totally gross, and Chris Eigeman is adorable in it. Jingle All The Way stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, and is kind of terrible but weirdly amazing at the same time. The Ice Harvest stars John Cusack and Billy Bob Thornton, and it's kind of a modern noir, which is something I almost always love. Jack Frost is about a killer snowman. Santa with Muscles stars Hulk Hogan, and wasn't as amazing as I thought it would be, but is still worth watching.
The Top 11 Documentaries I Watched In 2006
1. How's Your News? (1999, Arthur Bradford)
2. My Flesh and Blood (2003, Jonathan Karsh)
3. Rainbow Man/John 3:16 (1997, Sam Green)
4. Cinemania (2002, Angela Christlieb & Stephen Kijak)
5. Chicken Hawk: Men Who Love Boys (1994, Adi Sideman)
6. Heidi Fleiss: Hollywood Madam (1995, Nick Broomfield)
7. Inside Deep Throat (2005, Fenton Bailey & Randy Barbato)
8. The Hidden Fuhrer: Debating the Enigma of Hitler's Sexuality (2004, Fenton Bailey, Randy Barbato, and Gabriel Rotello)
9. Fetishes (1996, Nick Broomfield)
10. Wesley Willis: The Daddy of Rock 'n' Roll (2003, Daniel Bitton)
11. Little Dieter Needs To Fly (1997, Werner Herzog)
The top 2 are pretty much tied, which is why they're grouped together.
Quick info: How's Your News? is about a group of mentally and physically challenged people interviewing pedestrians on the street, and it's a movie I would reccomend to anyone ever, not just those who like the same kinds of movies as I do. My Flesh and Blood also deals with the disabled, but is much less upbeat, and it's about a woman who adopted a bunch of kids with varying handicaps. Rainbow Man/John 3:16 is about this guy who went to like every football game ever and was always wearing a rainbow afro wig, and then later he went crazy/christian. Cinemania is about 5 people in New York who are more obsessed with movies than I could ever hope to be, and they frequent all the rep houses, and see like 5 movies a day. Chicken Hawk is about pedophiles and it's really disturbing. Heidi Fleiss and Fetishes are self-explanatory, and they're directed by Nick Broomfield, who is really obnoxious. Inside Deep Throat is about the movie Deep Throat. The Hidden Fuhrer is also self-explanatory, and it's got some really cute footage of Adolf. The Daddy of Rock 'n' Roll is really poorly made, but it doesn't matter because it's lots of footage of Wesley fucking Willis. Little Dieter Needs to Fly is a POW's story, and Herzog makes him re-enact some of the atrocities that happened to him, and Werner just remade it as a non-documentary with Christian Bale and it's coming out pretty soon.
The Top 1 Porn Feature I Watched In 2006
1. The Satisfiers of Alpha Blue (1981, Gerard Damiano)
I didn't watch a lot of porn features last year, meaning actual movies that are also pornographic, as opposed to porn movies that are just a series of sex scenes. The Satisfiers of Alpha Blue is a sci-fi movie by Gerard Damiano, who also made the excellent Deep Throat and The Devil in Miss Jones. Shortbus also deserves an honorable mention, though it was problematic, and I guess it's an '06 release anyway.
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